“The child is the father of the man,” says the old adage, and it creates a puzzle: how can those lovely fathers beget such abominable offspring? Children – most children – are intelligent, lively, sincere, innocent, natural, truthful and loyal; it is education that turns them into stupid, apathetic, competitive and treacherous liars. As education is compulsory, the result is almost inevitable.
The very word “childish” is misapplied. The word out to mean: intelligent, lively etc etc. But we use it to mean immature, unsophisticated and “improper for a grown-up person”. The boot is on the wrong foot: it would be improper to honor most grown-up persons by the adjective, “childish”. The word “childlike”, it’s true, is trying to make amends and means “having the good qualities of a child”, but this, too, is a condescending word.
The word “childish” is misleading also in another and even more important sense. It suggests that grown-ups behave as adults should while children are an inferior species. This is either a mistake or a downright lie. Adults, on the whole, are more childish that children.
We know that the trouble with humanity (one of the many troubles) is that while its intellect has grown quickly and impressively its morality and ethics are those of the cave-dweller or the crocodile. Man is able to create admirable devices and then uses them for destructive ends. The sciences have opened up glorious vistas but man keeps reverting to murder, terrorism and gangsterism. Man has remained the slave of base instincts such as revenge, envy, fury, vanity and what is true of the species is also true of the individual. It is true that a boy of four has to learn a lot – when was the Freedom fight, what is the capital of India and how to find the square root of 16 without the help of a pocket calculator – but as far as ethics are concerned he can teach adults a lot.
Children are more serious, too. When I go to play tennis at Hurlingham Club, I very often see small children waiting patiently outside the tennis courts while their parents are playing with a ball. And how often parents shove children to bed much too early in order to be able to start playing Bridge as soon as possible. The other day I heard a man scolding his eleven year old boy for showing off and a few hours later making an hysterical scene in the office, abusing his partners and ending up practically in tears – because, in order to save money, they meant to exchange his office Mercedes for Vauxhall Cavalier. When children play King or Queen, they are fully aware of pretending; whereas a man spends sleepless nights fretting about whether he will get a knighthood, or some silly letters to put after his name, and when he does, he believes that he is a real knight in shining armour. The few who become kings are inclined to believe in their own divinity, and this belief is shared by millions of their subjects who – at the same time – try to teach their children to use their common sense and be realistic.
Adults believe that their work is important while childish problems are … well, just childish problems. The truth is exactly the opposite. Admittedly, a number of people are engaged in keeping society going and that may be regarded as important. But most people are engaged in ridiculous pursuits: making a little more money, doing their best to be able to move into a larger house in a so called better district, driving a larger and faster car, mixing with dull people whose names keep appearing in the gossip columns of the gutter press, pulling a fast one on a business associate and so on. On a different level they fight for the “true religion” and, like the Ayatollah, kill thousands in the process without blinking an eyelid; start rioting in Quebec because they insist that street names must be written up in French n Vancouver, where not a soul speaks French; blow off people’s limbs and blind them because a stretch of land must belong to this country instead of that one. They hijack planes and kill diplomats in order to “draw attention” to some cause. These immature activities are regarded as behavior worthy of dedicated adults.
When little Alistair wants blue marbles instead of yellow ones (exactly the same marble as Bruce has) that is a truly serious matter. When Alistair is denied those marbles – without adequate reason and without a proper explanation – that is something decisively important. This will be formative influence and will partly decide whether little Alistair grows up into a happy, fair-minded member of society of becomes a neurotic, vain Mercedes chaser, a snob, a terrorist or and Ayatollah.
How old are you? This is a pointless question. Few people know how old they really are. Every person has two ages: the first is their Calendar Age which is the less important of the two and depends simply on the date of birth. (Its chief purpose is to tell you when you must go to school and whether you are permitted to watch pornographic films in public, or must still watch them at home.) The second age is your Real Age, and that is of real importance. After about four (Calendar Age), you develop your Real Age. Your Calendar Age changes, making you a year older at every birthday; your Real Age remains constant. We all know serious-minded, mature human beings with a Calendar Age of eleven; and also empty-headed, silly, sucking, vain children with a Calendar Age of fifty-four.
There are aged children, elderly toddlers. I had a dear Friend who was seventy-three all his life, until he died at the age of sixty-seven. Twenty-three is a god Real Age: it is a hopeful, active, forward-looking age. An elderly, fat, pink-faced company director of seven is less attractive.
I find my own theory about the Two Ages of Man so convincing that I started worrying about my own Real Age. A quick opinion poll among my close friends voted that my Real Age is twelve. Not a splendid verdict for the intellect of a self-appointed sage, but flattering for his character.
- George Mikes
(from - How to be a Guru)
